Bend it like Logan

Zinadine Zidane and David Beckham have nothing on me.

Last month, my dad sat me down and made me watch something called the World Cup, saying it was a cultural sporting event that unites the entire world.

OK, whatever. A cultural sporting event for me right now is how many gallons of saliva I can drool in a day.

But I seem to have some outstanding skills that translate to this game called soccer. I already kick the snot out of my penguin with its little bell inside, and I’ve taken to kicking the Canadian soccer ball mom and dad bought for me around the house.

And, after watching Zidane in the championship of the World Cup it’s apparent that head butting is now an important trait. That’s something I’m really good at, just ask dad.

-- Logan